Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The End of an Era...

We are at the end of our term in Sudan. I leave in two days. Time has flown…some days flew by, I guess. As we finish, I find myself somewhat sentimental but also extremely excited. I suppose good-byes are usually bittersweet.
Saying ‘good-byes’ are important in this culture. If you go and don’t say good-bye, it can be an insult to the person who isn’t informed of the leave. Because of this, I began saying my ‘good-byes’ about a month ago in an effort to make sure I saw all of the people I needed to see.
However, as I was saying good-bye to friends, telling them I will probably never see them again, I was astounded by their reaction. Most people who were informed of our leaving simply responded by saying, “Well, you’ll be back in about a year, so we’ll see you again.” I kept trying to insist, “No, I don’t think you will see me again,” but they would say, “Yeah, that’s what all of you say but then five months, maybe 8 months later, you are here again. We’ll see you again.” It became a big frustration for me. No one seemed to grasp that I really AM NOT coming back (or at least have no plans to return any time soon). While this is a somewhat selfish response, I kept thinking, “Won’t ANYONE miss us when we’re gone? These are some of my best Dinka friends, and they don’t care at all that we are leaving!” While I know the Lord has used our time here to further His kingdom, I’ve often found myself wondering if our time was worth it if the people didn’t care that we were leaving.
Finally, I went to see a Dinka friend of mine who has worked with foreigners a lot and is familiar with western cultures. As I was saying good-bye to him, he said, “I will know that you are not coming back to Sudan, but for my heart, I will try to carry hope in it. So, I will say to myself, ‘I know Ayen is never coming back, but maybe one day she will return when she is needed because we cannot go through this day thinking we will never see her again. We will see her again. We must see her again.’ And that is why Dinka people, we never say ‘good-bye’.”
After his explanation, I understood better what all of the farewells actually meant. Yesterday, Jamie and I were meeting with one of the women’s groups we have been meeting with for the last year and a half. These are incredible ladies who have become great friends, and I will be very sad to leave them. As we said good-bye to them, they continued to do the traditional “see you later” rather than discussing how we aren’t returning. However, as we talked about our departure plans, one of the ladies decided that saying good-bye that day wasn’t good enough. She said, “We will come to the airport to tell you farewell. We will sing songs for you as you fly away in the airplane. We will see you until you leave.” And as we left yesterday afternoon, every single lady said, “I’ll see you Friday at the airport. We’ll sing and pray as you fly away.”
As we were taking one final picture with all of the women, one lady leaned over to Jamie and said, “My eyes are bringing water,” or in other words, she had tears in her eyes. And I realized God had allowed us to see in some small way that we are loved by at least a few here. As I have spent the last two years learning to love the Dinka, it’s so humbling and amazing to realize that we are loved by some of them, too. Having heard the women talk about how their lives have changed since learning more about Jesus, it’s so amazing to realize that not only are WE loved by these Dinka women, but JESUS is loved by them, too. So, even though I still have to sort through every farewell to decipher what it really means, I can leave knowing that the Lord used our time here to further His kingdom after all!