The School of Hard Knocks…or at least Interesting Knocks…

Since coming to Africa, I have felt as if I am in a perpetual state of learning new things. Some things are enjoyable to learn, and other things are not so enjoyable. I have decided that, in order to be a good steward of my newfound knowledge, I should pass along some of my information to you all. Here are some very important life lessons from one living in Africa:
1. Timeliness is NOT, in reality, next to Godliness. If it was, the whole continent of Africa would be doomed. Speaking of doomed…
2. DOOM, the bug-killing spray, does not kill lizards. Nor does it kill wasps. Frequently, termites survive DOOM, as do many mosquitoes. Basically, the bugs here are hardy and determined. They are troopers and will not go down without a fight. DOOM will, however, temporarily render a person unconscious when inhaled (just joking…this hasn’t really happened! But it’s probably true…this stuff is lethal.)
3. Anything that can be solved with words in the States is solved with a gun out here. Our supervisor's wife told us that shortly before we returned in May, a man escaped from the “frison” (prison). The prison guard told her, “We caught him by shooting.” That is the way of things here. Shoot first, ask questions later.
4. After weeks of turning down marriage proposals, we finally asked our friend Rebecca if this was appropriate. She was surprised, and responded… “Yes, of course it’s appropriate! They just want to interact! They don’t REALLY want to marry you!” Upon further investigation, we have found this to be true. When you stop to talk, actually carry on a conversation, and move quickly to other topics, it is much less awkward and tends to result in a new friendship. If we had only thought to ask earlier!
5. Airports are not run the same here as they are in the States. There is a Brian Regan skit that talks about compliance to the tower…how no one ever questions the authority of the tower. Well, that does not hold true here. Laura had a very interesting experience that resulted in the pilot announcing over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry for the delay. We have not been given clearance to land, but this is ridiculous and I have decided to land at my own discretion. We will be in Juba shortly. Enjoy your flight.” Oh, Africa…
6. No matter how superior your language skills are, the nationals will still laugh at you. Always. It is apparently very, VERY funny to hear a kawajja speaking the native tongue.
7. Bicycle tires never last as long as you think they should. I had two flats in one day. And beds take four times as long to build as you anticipate. And when you think they should be completed because you saw them nearly completed yesterday, you will inevitably arrive to find that the beds have been sent away for “fainting”(painting)…meaning, they were sold to someone else yesterday as soon as they were finished. It will then be another week before your beds are actually completed.
8. If you are not careful, the goat will eat your food right off your plate.
9. Never say “maybe.” In Africa, maybe means yes, yes means yes, I don’t know means yes, and no often means yes. I told one guy that I would see him tomorrow…MAYBE…thinking to myself, “nope, not gonna happen.” Three days later when I saw him, he was spitting mad at me for not coming to see him the following day. And then he demanded the watch that I “promised” him…I guess I said maybe to that request, too.
10. This is a fun but challenging place. I am learning frequently that things are rarely what they seem, that what I learned yesterday will inevitably be different today, and that more than anything, I have to be flexible. It is certainly an adventure!